Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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