she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
