i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Randomize
