What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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