so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
