remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize