I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
