Don't make out with my wife yet
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
