why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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