My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
