why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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