like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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