Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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