Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
