What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
