Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
