I can text with my tongue
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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