the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
