I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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