shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
