Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
