Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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