on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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