I can tuck mytits in my pants
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I've blown a few things in my day
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
