my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize