hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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