I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
