I've blown a few things in my day
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
