I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
