I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
