and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
