Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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