where am i from again
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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