Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
