Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
