just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Randomize