So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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