Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
