I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
false alarm, still single
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