Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
