I am puke
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
