It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
