dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
