my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
