i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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