What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Sorry my hands just texted you
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
