she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize