fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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