I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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