I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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