Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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