you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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