I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
