he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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