i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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