somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
