I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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