he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
