Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Randomize
