Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
