somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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