Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
