can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
