I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize