she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
