Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
