Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
