Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
