Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
