I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize