the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
