I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
