I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
