I feel great
I just peed on a car
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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