just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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