I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
