my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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