lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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