He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
