i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
