Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
