Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
