Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
