Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
