we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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