Non-Jews are for practice
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
