A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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